Anyone who has ever embarked on some sort of self- improvement plan knows that eventually forgiveness becomes a part of it whether the original issue was physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. How does a person forgive while still hurting from some real or imagined negative experience or how can they receive forgiveness for something they did in the past? Why is forgiveness even important ?
Emotions are a big part of life on earth. Emotions are energy (energy in motion). Most individuals continue to carry unresolved energy from lifetime to lifetime until it is cleared. Stored energy is usually the result of intense experiences with other people, events, or groups. Until an individual is spiritually ready and willing to release old energy he/she unknowingly continues to carry it. Stored energy creates energy blocks and often manifests in some negative way especially around someone involved in the original issue.
Being blissfully unaware of the presence of of old energy or even the possibility of past lives, most simply live life as best they know considering any negative emotions they have to be just who they are. When an individual is spiritually ready, he begins to see how certain emotions accompany his thought process regarding certain people, places, ideas, or things which offers clues as to the areas within self that need examining.
Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to stuck emotional energy but forgiveness must include forgiveness of self. If a person blocks the energy of forgiveness for themselves in the belief that they do not deserve forgiveness for past actions they automatically block it from coming in from and going out. Forgiveness is already fully present facet of love within every person, but as free will creators every person can choose to allow it to flow through and out or simply block it. All experiences (past or present, from you or to you) are opportunities to honestly examine one’s personal belief system and get to work on what is found there.
Most believe that forgiveness means forgetting, that “It doesn’t matter” or “It really isn’t important so I should just let it go”. Attempting to forget or just ignore some painful experience is simply shoving the energy of it back down inside where you can no longer feel it but where it continues to remain alive and well. Rather than clearing the old energy it once again becomes an energy block eventually manifesting physically, emotionally, or mentally in some way.
Burying painful emotions is simply another form of denial, whereas forgiveness brings release and clearing. Suppressed emotions often express through sudden and inappropriate bursts of energy that come out of nowhere when triggered by some experience. These often inappropriate reactions leave the person confused, depressed, and unable to understand his own reaction to some person or event.
Until consciously released, pockets of negative emotional energy will simply pop up when least expected. Even individuals not inclined to approach forgiveness from the deeper spiritual sense must understand that continuing to hold negative energy (anger, hurt, frustration, revenge etc.) only hurts the holder, not the person who committed the seeming offense.
Many simply give up any effort to forgive, believing it to be beyond their personal ability or that those involved do not deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a forced attempt to forget something deeply hurtful, nor does it mean that we must strive to attain a human sense of love for the individual or individuals involved. However, it does require a willingness to see with new eyes—that is, from spiritual truth which sees beyond concepts of duality and separation (bad vs. good, victim vs. aggressor).
How do we move into real forgiveness? First, once and for all, there must be a willingness to let go of the belief that forgiveness means forgetting because forgetting is usually impossible and is based in an ignorance of true forgiveness. Attempting to simply forget some painful life experience not only suppresses the emotions involved, but also feeds the belief that there is someone ( myself or another) needing forgiveness which is third dimensional belief in separation. Attempting to solve a problem on the level of the problem never works and especially for anyone seeking a spiritual solution.
There has to be an honest interpretation of what actually happened–“This person hurt me deeply”. Write down every feeling, belief, and emotion about the experience in as honest and soul searching a manner as possible, even to admitting to feeling hate for the person or persons involved. Acknowledge the emotions you still feel– anger, distrust, guilt, pain, rage, hurt, disappointment, betrayal, resentment, etc. because to deny them simply hinders their release and your healing.
At this point you may even find yourself experiencing other forgotten or suppressed emotions because an exercise like this it gives your Spiritual Guides permission to step in and help because it indicates to them that you are choosing to learn, forgive, and move spiritually deeper.
After writing and acknowledging the negative emotions you are feeling, next examine the experience itself asking yourself what exactly happened. See the experience from every angle; honestly, clearly and without bias or emotion. You will find that you are guided in this exercise also, as you begin to remember forgotten painful details which in turn lead to new facets of understanding.
Then ask yourself and write down the answers;
1. What did I learn from this experience?
2. What are the other person’s beliefs about this event and how did their beliefs play a part?
3. What part did my personal concepts and beliefs play in this?
4. Do I believe that only my views and opinions are correct?
5. How could this have been handled differently?
6. How would I act differently today?
Serious inner work allows no room for excuses or playing the “blame game”. Forgiveness work is not for the faint-hearted because only a brave and serious individual is able to honestly look within, examine his own belief system, acknowledge any false concepts he finds there, and then consciously let them go. This can be especially difficult when surrounded by family or friends that may still hold judgment and criticism about the issue and encourage you to do the same.
The inability to forgive always involves the personal sense of self that believes it has been wronged and wants to see the other person or group punished. It is the belief that if I forgive, I will be saying that what was done to me was nothing and is not important.
True and lasting forgiveness can only take place when done from a higher level through the realization that forgiveness is a facet of God and therefore man does not have forgiveness to give. It is also understanding that every person even the one who seems to be my worst enemy is in reality a Divine Being. Complete forgiveness and release is only possible when an individual comprehends the oneness of all life and the reason every individual is on earth in the first place is to experience and evolve from their experiences.
Know that there are no accidents, nothing is random especially for those who are on a spiritual path. Those with whom we may have the most difficulty are probably in our life because of our own pre-birth contract/choice specifically to reactivate, heal , and move beyond some old past life relationship or issue still needing resolution.
Because forgiveness is facet of love, a God quality, do not look to a person for forgiveness but rather look to God and it will flow to you from where it can flow. If you seek forgiveness from another and they are unable to give it, do not keep trying to change the situation but rather acknowledge that you are both spiritual beings and that in reality the issue is a three dimensional concept and not reality unless you believe it is and keep feeding it with energy.
Often the individual who seems to give us the most grief is someone who out of great love for us, volunteered to play this role in order for us to learn. This idea is difficult to accept because we have been taught to blame and dislike anyone who causes us pain, but when life experiences are seen from the higher level oneness everything begins to make sense and the sting of three dimensional experiences lessens.
When something is seen and accepted from the level of consciousness that created it in the first place, it will remain. Forgiveness of self or another is only permantent when it is allowed to flow from a state of consciousness different from that which caused the hurt and anger in the first place. The realization of oneness enables a person to reclaim personal power, let go of “victim-hood”, and release accumulated negative energies. Making the decision to pursue forgiveness from a spiritual level brings about an inner shift that enables the forgiver to clearly examine the facts, including their own personal beliefs and the role they played.
Every individual is on earth to learn and each brings with them a life plan that they themselves have created in order to learn and spiritually evolve within the density of third dimensional energy. Every person’s Higher Self acts to bring about the timing and circumstances necessary for the person’s chosen lessons.
As a person spiritually evolves the desire for revenge and retribution automatically dissolves because these are beliefs of separation that do not exist in the higher frequencies of reality. A sense of gratitude follows once a person realizes that the painful experiences of his/her life were actually learning experiences specifically and personally chosen by them and that some particular lesson is now complete and need never be experienced again.
9/16/11 updated 3/26
Recommended reading; “Radical Forgiveness” by Colon Tippin