Anyone who has ever embarked on some sort of self- improvement plan knows that eventually the topic of forgiveness will come up regardless of whether the original focus was physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. How does a person forgive while still hurting from some real or imagined negative experience and why is forgiveness even important?
Life is filled with emotions, some painful and some not. It must be understood that emotions are energy (energy in motion). Every individual brings to each new lifetime accumulated energy from the previous ones and although much of it is positive, it also includes anything still unresolved with individuals or groups. Until an individual is spiritually ready to release accumulated energy, he/she unknowingly carries it from lifetime to lifetime where it creates energy blocks and often manifests in some form.
Being blissfully unaware of the presence of of old energy or even the possibility of past lives, most simply live their lives as best they know. When an individual is spiritually ready, he begins to become aware that certain emotions seem to often color his thought process. This realization offers clues as to those areas within self need examining. Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to stuck emotional energy. All experiences needing forgiveness (past or present, from you or to you), offer opportunities for the honest examination of ones personal belief system, and then if you are serious about forgiveness, get to work on what you find.
Most believe that forgiveness simply means forgetting; reaching a place of believing that “It doesn’t matter” or “It really isn’t important so I should just let it go”. Attempting to simply forget some painful experience is simply shoving negative emotions down inside where you can no longer feel them. This can and often is done seemingly successfully but rather than getting rid of the negative energy it simply suppresses or represses it where it then becomes an energy block which in turn will eventually manifest as physical, emotional, or mental disease.
Burying emotions is simply a form of denial, whereas forgiveness is a release and clearing. Suppressed emotions sooner or later express themselves through a sudden and inappropriate burst of energy when triggered by some experience that leaves the person confused, depressed, and unable to understand his own inappropriate reaction to some person or event.
Until consciously released, pockets of negative emotional energy simply pop up when least expected. Even individuals not inclined to approach forgiveness from the deeper spiritual sense must understand that continuing to hold negative energy (anger, hurt, frustration, revenge etc.) hurts the holder, not the person who committed the seeming offence. Everyone must ask themselves; “What am I feeding into my consciousness?”
Many simply give up any effort to forgive, believing it to be beyond their personal ability or that those involved do not deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a forced attempt to forget something deeply hurtful, nor does it mean that we must strive to attain an emotional or human sense of love for the individual or individuals involved. However, it does require a willingness to see with new eyes—that is, from spiritual truth which sees beyond concepts of duality and separation (bad vs. good, victim vs. aggressor).
How do we move into real forgiveness? First, once and for all, there must be a willingness to let go of the belief that forgiveness means forgetting because at this stage forgetting is impossible and based in an ignorance of true forgiveness. Attempting to simply forget some painful life experience not only suppresses the emotions involved, but also feeds the belief that there is an “it” needing forgiveness–that is, a “good” person (you) versus a “bad” person (them). This is duality and separation that which constitutes the third dimension. It is the attempt to solve a problem on the level of the problem and for those seeking spiritual solutions this work must be done on a evolved level.
There has to be the honest admission and acceptance of what actually happened–“it was traumatic and hurt me deeply”. Write down every feeling, belief, and emotion about the experience in as honest and soul searching a manner as possible, even to admitting to feeling hate for the person or persons involved. There can be no putting a good face on it in the belief that you are being compassionate and thus more spiritual by doing this—“A good Christian”. Allow yourself to acknowledge every emotion still active within you– anger, distrust, guilt, pain, rage, hurt, disappointment, betrayal, resentment, etc. etc. To deny any negative emotion simply hinders their release and your healing. At this point you may even find yourself remembering other forgotten or suppressed emotions because when you choose to do an exercise like this it gives your Spiritual Guides permission to step in and help because this work indicates to them that you are choosing to learn, forgive, and move spiritually deeper.
After writing and acknowledging the negative emotions you are feeling, next examine the experience itself asking yourself what exactly happened. See the experience from every angle; honestly, clearly and without bias or emotion. You will find that you are guided in this exercise also, as you begin to remember forgotten painful details which in turn lead to new facets of understanding.
Then ask yourself and write down the answers;
1. What did I learn from this experience?
2. What are the other person’s beliefs about this event and how did their beliefs play a part?
3. What part did my personal concepts and beliefs play in this?
4. Do I believe that only my views and opinions are correct?
5. How could this have been handled differently?
6. How would I act differently today?
Serious inner work such as this, allows no room for making excuses or playing “blame games”. Forgiveness work is not for the faint-hearted because only a brave and serious individual is able to honestly look within, examine his belief system, acknowledge any false concepts he finds there, and then consciously clear them. This is especially difficult when surrounded by family and friends who may still hold old concepts of judgment and criticism and who encourage you to do the same. An inability to forgive always involves personal ego; that sense of self that believes it has been wronged and wants to see the other person or group punished. It is the belief that if I forgive, I will be saying that what was done to me was nothing and is not important.
It is very difficult to forgive as long as we continue to believe that we have been wronged. That is why true and lasting forgiveness can only take place when done from a higher level. Complete forgiveness and release is only possible when an individual comprehends the oneness of all life and the reasons all individuals are on earth in the first place.
As long as an issue is seen from the level of the engagement that created it in the first place, it will remain. Forgiveness of self or another must flow from a deeper, more evolved state of consciousness, one that is different from the one which caused hurt and anger in the first place. An consciousness of Oneness enables a person to take back their personal power, forever let go of “victimhood”, and release any accumulated negative energy. Making the decision to pursue forgiveness from a spiritual level brings about an inner shift which then enables the forgiver to clearly examine the facts, including their personal beliefs and role in what took place.
Each and every individual has chosen to be on earth to learn and fulfill their pre-birth life plan in order to spiritually evolve to new levels within the density of third dimensional energy. Experiences requiring forgiveness are now recognized as planned interactions set up by all persons involved before incarnation either for the purpose resolving some long standing issue from earlier lifetimes (karmic situation) or as an experience necessary to their unfolding awareness. Pre-birth plans are forgotten once a person is in the denser energies
of third dimensional living, but the Higher Self remembers and acts to bring about the perfect circumstances necessary for our chosen lesson or lessons.
It is only from this deeper level of spiritual understanding that an individual is able to see the painful events of their lives for what they really were, experiences chosen pre-birth by them and no one else, specifically to bring their awareness to new levels of understanding. Pre-birth planning sessions always involve the other person or persons involved in the incident–those we are now trying to forgive. Lessons are chosen to specifically address issues we are spiritually ready to release and move beyond.
Frequently the individual who causes us the most grief, the one we are now trying to forgive, is someone that out of great love for us, volunteered to play this role in order for us to learn. These ideas are difficult to accept because we have been taught to blame and dislike anyone who causes us pain, but when experiences are seen from this higher level, everything begins to make sense and the sting of the experience lessens.
There is a sense of gratitude that comes when an individual realizes that the painful experiences of his life were actually learning experiences specifically and personally chosen. Once truth becomes an attained state of consciousness, the desire for revenge and retribution dissolves. Forgiveness and release automatically follows and with it a sense of relief and profound gratitude in the knowledge that this particular lesson is finished and will never need to be experienced again.
9/16/11
Recommended reading; “Radical Forgiveness” by Colon Tippin