When an individual spiritually awakens, he often finds himself plagued guilt and remorse with regard to actions taken in the past. He begins to realize how he could have handled these situations in a better way. New insights often bring a sense of embarrassment, regret, and even self-loathing for words spoken and actions taken that may have resulted in pain and difficulty for another. It is important to understand that past actions reflect of our state of consciousness at that time; beliefs that often held self-righteousness disregard for the feelings and beliefs of others. These actions often alienated those we thought we are “helping” in the egotistical belief that we were showing them the “right” way (our way) of doing, living, or believing. We may actually have been functioning as an enabler, or simply a self-righteous “know it all” . We thought of ourselves as being “loving” and helpful, but now, when seen with more enlightened vision, we are shocked by some of the things we said or did. We begin to see clearly that we only helped our own ego and now we become very uncomfortable with ourselves. It is like a light bulb has gone off in our thinking causing us to feel very shamed by some past actions; we don’t like ourselves very much.
Self loathing reflects the third dimensional energy of duality and separation expressing itself as; “You never will be good enough”. The manifestations of this false belief are experienced on all levels physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually by those living fully in third dimensional consciousness as well and many who have awakened.
Those who live completely in three dimensional consciousness, who get all their pains and pleasures from the material world, compare their physical bodies to the three dimensional concepts of perfection presented by Hollywood, the fashion industry, and work out gurus. This usually results the person believing “I am too fat, my hair is not right, my body ism’t perfect etc. etc.” or if you are a man, “my body isn’t muscular enough, I am losing hair”, or “I don’t make enough money”. All this in turn leads to negative behaviors like starving oneself, gulping down steroids, or being dishonest in a desperate attempt to be accepted (loveable).
Emotionally, every culture contains concepts regarding almost everything with regard to proper and acceptable emotions. If we discover that we are somehow out of sync with the acceptable emotions we find ourselves out of the acceptable “loop”. Romance novels, movies, magazines, and TV shows all promote concepts of what love is and what we are supposed to feel in every situation. Pharmaceutical and illegal drug industries have created a gold mine for themselves through the presentation of “out of the norm” emotions as a reason for drug use while ignoring basic underlying causes.
On a mental level, we school our children from the day they are born to learn; pushing them frequently beyond what is appropriate to keep busy acquiring knowledge and expertise in order to be acceptable (loveable). We have organizations created solely to support and feed the egos of those with high IQ levels qualifying them to be members. We give awards and credits for being smart in a “book learning” way while disregarding or looking down on those who may actually flow with true wisdom.
Spiritually, as we awaken to the truth of our true nature and find ourselves regretting some past action, self-loathing may rear its ugly head. If we cannot love ourselves, we will not be capable of loving others because we have eliminated ourselves from ONE. How can we begin to love the unworthy person we have discovered ourselves to be? Spiritually, we are required only to live out from our highest state of realized consciousness. Know that this is exactly what you were doing at the time you feel guilt about. If we were to take those same actions today, in our new and higher state of consciousness, then it would be an error-a step backward. We would do things differently because it would express our new and higher state of consciousness.
It is hardly surprising that so many despise themselves and silently suffer from the belief that they have somehow failed; not realizing that this is what the “earth experience” is actually all about– discovering truth while living in the energies of duality and separation.
Three dimensional concepts expressing on all levels are not ours unless we accept them as ours, even though they feel personal. There is only ONE Consciousness, but the false beliefs of duality and separation have formed an overlay of error that functions and forms its creations through the collective consciousness of unawake mankind. There is and will always be only ONE Divine consciousness, but in third dimensional energy this one Divine Consciousness is interpreted falsely and colored with error. Once we spiritually awaken, we are able to see through the false concepts and beliefs and realize that outer appearances of good and evil are maintained solely by belief in them. “There is no unexpressed consciousness”-Joel S. Goldsmith
Mankind in general, does not yet realize its Oneness with Source (God) and all life, and so compares and makes judgments based on erroneous data. We chose to enter the third dimensional experience for those lessons we ourselves knew we needed, but once here, the denser energies of the third dimension caused us to forget and we began to accept world beliefs without question. Many get lost in the “crap” of “this world”, while at the same time on a Soul level; continue to be drawn to their true nature which is Love (oneness).
Everyone yearns to be accepted (loved) because Oneness is our true nature. Oneness is translated and manifested through the state of consciousness of the individual. For example-A suicide bomber feels the need to be accepted and honored, and is doing what he believes to be a brave and righteous act. His desire to experience oneness (acceptance and love) is being translated and is manifesting through his un-evolved and very third dimensional state of consciousness.
Duality/separation consciousness preaches loudly to us from the pulpit of appearances. It is now time to reclaim ourselves from all that we have given our power to– churches, governments, experts, friends, family, the rich and famous, and anyone or anything that says we must believe, say, or do as they do, or we will not be acceptable and worthy of love- Gods’ or another’s. Love (Oneness) is our true nature, but we have allowed ourselves to be validated from outside of ourselves. We believed it when we were told that we were worms in the dust, and have been unable to love and accept ourselves as anything more.
Remember this when world beliefs present themselves for acceptance or rejection. Do not accept at face value everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell, but instead always go within knowing;
I ALREADY AM, ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE MANIFESTATION OF SOURCE, AND NOTHING OUTSIDE OF MYSELF CAN CHANGE THAT.
11-24-09